SciFi Channel’s Hidden Agenda Revealed

What we get up to at night:

Genevieve Valentine: holy shit
Genevieve Valentine: http://www.scifi.com/warbirds/
ktempestbradford: OMG WHAT IS WRONG WITH SCI FI CHANNEL
ktempestbradford: also, what is it with their fixation on dinosaurs that protect brown and yellow people?  Apparently dinosaurs are against whitey.
Genevieve Valentine: who isn’t
Genevieve Valentine: i am here to inform you they are also the target of 99% of carnivorous snakes
ktempestbradford: HA

Seriously now, first a T-Rex protecting “Aztecs” in Mexico, now Pterodactyls protecting the Japanese in WWII.  What’s next, Raptors in Harlem?  Triceratops helping Hannibal conquer Rome?

Okay, I should stop, because I might give them ideas.

Then again, I could probably make a lot of money writing a script for the Hannibal one…

Comments

  1. says

    Raptors in Harlem?

    Isn’t it a little early for a Jurassic Park remake? Still, maybe if they got Terry Gilliam to direct… made it a little more New Jack City

    Triceratops helping Hannibal conquer Rome?

    Well, Zack Snyder is going to have to do something after Watchmen is over and done with.

  2. veejane says

    Triceratops helping Hannibal conquer Rome?

    This sounds kinda awesome. I mean, not orders of magnitude more awesome than elephants, but at least a tablespoon more awesome.

    Or possibly it might be that Hanna-Barbera cartoon from the early 80s, where the triceratops could shoot a laser out of his horns! In which case, we would go direct to alternate history, where Hannibal wins, and Rome becomes a subsidiary city of the Carthaginian Empire.

  3. says

    I can see the alligators in the New York sewers kicing it in harlem. ;P

    SHonestly, sme of these new Sci Fi shows just make my brain hurt.

  4. Juan says

    *shudders terribly*

    And from advertisements I can remember and their continued showing of their originals throughout the week–they have a basilisk to protect Iraq and some sort of bone eating thing to protect Native Americans (probably the Lakota or Hopi most likely seeing how often they’re used, but I don’t know since I never watched the movie).

  5. Juan says

    I think I got that wrong, not a basilisk but maybe a sphinx or manticore or harpy or something. But the end result is always the same with pretty much all the movies of their ilk shown on Sci-fi. Some white boy (or band of them) triumphing over some natural, supernatural, human and or extraterrestrial obstruction and laying claim to some white woman as their just reward*. Go white supremacy! *waves flag*

    *Unless it’s some “exotic beauty”/”indian princess” who was likely mistreated by her people or handed over to the white boy to begin with. I’m just guessing as much with Aztec Rex since I likely couldn’t stomach watching it.

  6. Saladin says

    I also love how a nuclear assault on human beings — a city full of civilians to be exact — that, like, actually happened in, like, actual history, is not only the goal we’re supposed to be cheering the heroes on toward, but is also the anticlimax to a dinosaur infestation.

    That’s kinda like a German TV movie with the tagline “Before the Reich could use its gas chambers on the Jews, they had to get past…THEIR GOLEMS!”

    Jesus fucking Christ….

  7. says

    Nope, another show entirely. The title aint coming up, but I do recall one character was known as Ookla. The critter you’re thinking of looked sorta like a ceratopsian, but with a single horn which it used to shoot balls of flame. It was about a hero fighting to free a far future Earth from extraterrestrial tyrants.

  8. says

    The problem is not ideas, the problem is good ideas intelligently executed. Which they aint got none. The SciFi Channel is today’s Amazing Stories, as published during the Ray Palmer days. Their goal is not to inform, explore possibilities, or consider how people might be affected by discoveries or advancements, their goal is to sell ad space. To do that they need eyeballs. They get enough eyeballs, and just enough eyeballs, to justify their ad rates to prospective buyers they’re happy.

    It’s bean counter economy. In the bean counter world you don’t spend more money than you absolutely have to for short term gain. That you may earn more money in the long term by spending a little more money now to establish the brand is anathema, and not to be tolerated. Add the anti-creativity of slavish imitation and you get crap.

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