My Reaction Upon Viewing The Twilight Eclipse Trailer

My Reaction Upon Viewing The Twilight Eclipse Trailer

So, normally I am an RPatz fan, though not a fangirl. I think the dude is pretty sharp looking, and I love the way he makes fun of Twilight and Stephanie Meyer. But looking at the new trailer, I am sort of appalled at Bella. Perhaps because I have never seen Jacob and Edward standing together on screen, but Edward looks really fucking nasty in this new movie, and even moreso next to shiny, brown-skinned Jacob. I mean, I have have never been struck by that horrendously applied white makeup before and WTF is up with the yellow-ass eyes? How is it that people in Forks or whatever town they are in do not know that the Cullens are vampires? They look like a baker attacked them while they’re recovering from malaria. WTF.

I suppose that this should not make any sense to me because, if it did, then the books would start making sense, and one of y’all would have to kidnap me and stage an intervention or something. Still, I have seen other vampire movies that manage to make them look all sexy while pale and this is not one of them. Why didn’t she choose the brown wolf boy? Maybe Bella is racist! Or… maybe these books (and the makeup crew) just suck.

Anyone care to help me out here?

Comments

  1. says

    (Perhaps not the help you wanted, but…)

    Having grown up in the Pacific Northwest, I can say with no reservation whatsoever that the level of whiteness you describe is plausible. Numerous kids I knew were pale enough that Veins Were Visible. And that’s in the comparatively sunny Puget Sound area. West of the Olympics, in the Maritime Pacific Northwest, you’re looking at three months of Vitamin-D-level sunlight per year. “White” doesn’t begin to describe it.

    How the locals don’t notice the sparkles, I can’t explain.

  2. danima says

    We noticed that makeup problem in #2 — maybe it was that we saw #1 on video and #2 in (shame) the theater, or maybe it’s the classic case of over-funding and over-producing the followup to a successful movie.

    I mean, this franchise is going to be horking in the dough no matter what they do, but #1 was a little bit of an experiment and had some (I can’t believe I’m saying this) dynamic range. Once it was shown to be a sure thing, #2 was produced like a standard action blockbuster and dialed up to the proverbial eleven.

  3. says

    “They look like a baker attacked them while they’re recovering from malaria.”

    This made me laugh out loud. Also, as far as the racism, Meyer’s is Morman so do with that what you will.

  4. says

    Oh, they know. It’s just not the done thing to mention it in mixed company. But in corner bars and coffee klatches between close friends, they talk in muted tones, dripping with concern and pity about the Cullens. Using indirect references to sparkles and the like.

  5. says

    I just saw the trailer last week (I had a very bizarre preview selection before Robin Hood–Angelina Jolie spy movie, a couple dudebro comedies, SRS BSNS Clooney spy movie, and…Eclipse?). Anyway, totally thought the same thing about the makeup. I’m really not sure how these vampires are fooling anyone, cause they look really unpleasantly nasty.

  6. Jen says

    *sigh*

    Appalling is a good word to describe the whole mess. You know my kiddo read all these books, and I took her to see both movies. The makeup was just atrocious.

    However, since you know and love my kiddo, you should also know that she said to me the other day, “Mom, I just don’t think that vampires should sparkle. I don’t see what I thought was cool about that in the first place.”

  7. RebeccaS says

    I had much the same thought after seeing a clip from season two of “True Blood”. The vampires look like they all desperately need Benadryl and Visine, and I don’t get what’s supposed to be sexy about that.

  8. Lori S. says

    I can’t get past the horrendous overuse of the blue filter in the first movie to even think about the makeup much, but the yellow eyes thing has been bugging me too.

  9. Mer says

    I was pretty much screaming at the screen during New Moon, ’cause Edward’s pallor was so gross and Jacob was so darn, uhm, jail-baity.

    Edward, what’s wrong with your FACE?

  10. says

    I do find it amusing that vampire movies where the vampires are supposed to be at least a little bit grotesque often produce very pretty vampires, whereas the Twilight books, in which Meyer has made it pretty clear that they are not supposed to be (physically) grotesque, wound up with a starring vampire who looks a short step away from the Uncanny Valley despite being played by a real and pretty attractive guy.

  11. says

    Now that you mention the whole Uncanny Valley thing, the more I realise that that’s part of my issue with it. The Cullens in that trailer totally look like they were made up by the trainee makeup artist on Brent Spiner.

    …android vampires.